CIB Breaking Surreal News
Komsomolskaya Subway Station in Moscow, site of Taco Bell trial pushcart in 1993 to probe Russian market (Top photo: Wikimedia). Vladimir Putin presenting summit fare from a revived Taco Bell (Bottom photo: Source).
Following on the highly successful Alaska summit between Russian President Vladimir Putin and US President Donald Trump (aka Krasnov), the CIB has just learned that the main outcome, rather than an immediate ceasefire in the Ukraine War, will be a follow-up summit in Moscow to thrash out “core issues,” which observers consider to be code for Ukrainian national obliteration.
To underscore the vast economic possibilities opened by a rapprochement between the two countries, President Putin will propose to hold the summit in the Komsomolskaya Metro Station in Moscow, site of the 1993 Taco Bell pushcart. The short-lived pushcart, symbolic of America’s global fast-food economic might, unfortunately did not suffice to close the US global trade deficit and was soon closed.
Putin considers the Taco Bell pushcart particularly suitable for this summit ever since the Financial Time's US Financial Columnist Robert Armstrong coined the term TACO trade to characterize Trump’s negotiating strategy:
TACO = TRUMP ALWAYS CHICKENS OUT
In other words, Trumps first makes a big fuss setting an ultimatum, then postpones or folds when Trump’s opponent puts up any credible resistance.
Putin has taken this insight to heart during the Alaska summit, calling Trump’s bluff on the 10-12 day ultimatum to agree to a ceasefire Trump announced on July 28 in Scotland.
The grandeur of the Stalin-era Komsomolskaya Metro Station will remind the world of Russian greatness and contrast favorably with the US’s pushcart economy and deal-making bluster, Russian sources said.
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