Trump Appoints Ghislaine Maxwell as Special Advisor at Putin Summit to Lubricate Swap of Alaska for Occupied Ukraine

 CIB Breaking Surreal News (“Truthier than Thruthiness”)

Ghislaine Maxwell (left) “pleasuring” Jeffrey Epstein aboard his private jet in the happy days before his “suicide” and her “incarceration” (Dept of Justice via Courthouse News). Russian President Vladimir Putin (right), a powerful man notoriously difficult to “pleasure” (Ria-Novosti/Alexey Druzhinin)

President Trump (aka “Krasnov”) has pardoned convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell and ordered her immediate release from her “Club Fed” detention to serve as his special advisor during the upcoming summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Ghislaine Maxwell is endowed with unique experience that will assist President Trump in making Putin’s stay during the summit in Alaska as pleasurable as possible, said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. It wouldn’t be the first time Ghislaine has entrapped powerful men with former employees of President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago spa facilities, Leavitt continued.

Notorious photo of Prince Andrew, Virginia Giuffre (now deceased) and Ghislaine Maxwell, demonstrating Ghislaine’s unique ability to entrap powerful men with groomed sex slaves “stolen” from Trump’s Mar-a-Lago spa.

The CIB has learned that President Trump had first entertained the idea of enlisting former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin for this role. Palin, however, was put off by rumors that Trump was planning a territorial swap of Alaska (bought from Russia in 1867) for the Russian-occupied parts of Ukraine to pacify the “ungrateful” Ukrainian President Zelenskyy.

Trump justified this swap by saying the US would be more than compensated after Canada was made the 51st state. Palin, however, a patriotic Alaskan, was still not appeased, but was apparently flattered that she had been considered for the job.